July 23, 2010

How Long Will Ted Casablanca
String Nomorefan Along?

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A few months have passed....time for a Blind Item from Ted.

While Cruella was busy buying herself new boobs, two things happened: 1) She knew she'd never have to worry about the bill, and, 2) she knew it would help her in her life-long mission numero uno: to stay vital, sexy and—most importantly—ahead of the game in the press.

See, media coverage is so important to Cruella, she'll do anything to be portrayed as the sympathetic sexy muffin she most certainly ain't.

She's even stooped low enough to...

Barter her own children!

Yep, absolute fact: Cruella's offspring have not only complained that they will "go to the press" if they get used for any more press (mainly photo ops), but, the mom who makes Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest look like June Friggin' Cleaver also trades information on her kiddies out to journalists, just so they'll write nicer, more wholesome copy about her.

I'm sorry, but, maybe we could give a little breather to the outrage we all feel towards gay actors who intentionally lie about their sexuality, in order to get ahead. 'Cause whoring out your children (ya know, involving others in your hunger for stardom who arguably have no choice in the matter) is just as bad, if not far worse.

Oh, and if you're wondering why one of the many men in Cruella's storied life doesn't swoop in and do something about how she uses her kiddos like magazine-copy currency, well, let's say the one who's best able to (as he's got the deepest pockets and the most fame) is already pretty legally encumbered, and busy, as it is.

Getting those Titanic-sized monthly checks to Cruella is pretty much a Herculean effort in itself, you know. And, girlfriends, does she ever cash them—can't wait to see what St. Shackles' next set of knockers look like!



Ted needs to learn it's all about quality not quantity. Some believability would be nice too! This is a lengthy BI with nothing new in it no matter who he's trying to pass it off as.

But let's say for the sake of the argument, it is Nicole Kidman and she's had more plastic surgery than you can shake a stick at. Do any of you readers see the one sentence that gives Ted away? It's screaming LOOK AT ME! in flashing neon lights skeptics!


Wondering where she got the cash to pay for all these "cosmetic enhancements"? That's a Vice so for another day, kiddies.


Yeah, that's the one. So, what exactly is Nicole Kidman doing to fund her alleged habit? Working the corner in Nashville? Selling stolen art or jewels on the black market? Running a pyramid scheme from her basement? LMAO!

This blind item has gone on long enough but Ted won't elaborate, he'll simply wait it out every few months, repost the story that's says nothing, but says there's another mystery vice connected to this one, and get more hits to his site where the skeptics can argue it has to be her. The only thing Ted sees is $$$$ with this story. Make it look like he's got the scoop, keep his gullible readers happy, keep E! online happy, he's keep his job happy.

But wait there's more. We can't forget Nicole is affectionately known by the skeptics as the "Rich Bitch", a cheapskate who doesn't actually donate anything, tip well, or buy anything worthwhile, despite reality proving the opposite.

So who's right? Ted who says she's low on cash or the skeptics who when it's convenient say she's got more money than anyone should have a right to? Then there's nomorefan who believes in Ted, the savior of the skeptics. She's an expert on everything. Does she know that plastic surgery wouldn't be expensive enough to ruin someone of the financial level of a Nicole Kidman? It only costs so much. She's never been bankrupt, hasn't had a manager abscond with her savings, didn't get caught up in a Bernie Madoff scandal. But we know nomorefan's wishing it'll happen to KUNK.

In the end Ted is lying if he wants to claim this is Nicole Kidman. We all know the old saying follow the money. In this case folks it's follow the photos!

As STS proved months ago, the boob job never happened. But just in case Ted reads this, and for the skeptics lack of common sense here's a link to that very thread

It's Back! The E! Online Skeptic Boob Job Flip Flop Game!


nomorefan: Was the article about Bella wanting to move in with Baby Girl a planted story by Baby Girl's staff? Is this the pimping Ted is referring to?


Oh nomorefan the only pimping that's going on here is you desperately trying to back up Ted's lies. Nicole has been photographed by the paps with only Sunday recently, so that can't be it. That specific story you referenced, besides already being refuted by Tom Cruise's camp, is patently false. Why? Because it claimed that Katie goes shopping with Suri and bonds with her while Bella is left out. The only problem with that is Bella is photographed out and about with Katie and Suri half the time anyway.

Since Cruise hangs out with son Connor, and “Katie and [daughter] Suri shop,” says the mag, Isabella “never feels like she fits in… but Nicole ‘gets’ her.”

Lamo story! InTouch needs to get in touch with reality!

So Ted, when are you going to tell nomorefan you're lying to her? Even Looney Toons Jakra777 can see it!

Jakra777: I don't get the (where she got the money to do all that) she has plenty of money we are told. So why does Ted make it sound as if she is stealing from the cash register?


It's. Just. That. Easy.

BAHAHAHAHA!

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